I didn't read the fashion and make-up articles.
I read the relationship and sex articles, and I lived for the quizzes.
A lot of what I knew about relationships and women's health came from Cosmo.
Feeling a little nostalgic, I visited their website tonight.
Here are a few of the top stories:
- "Six Reasons to Sleep Naked" Reason # 1 (I know you're wondering...) is to, "air out your hoo-ha."
- "What Your Hair Says About You" There wasn't a hairstyle even remotely close to mine. Apparently, short hair doesn't speak.
- "Seven Ways Sex Keeps You Healthy" Oddly enough, reason 4 is, "It Keeps you healthy."
- "How to Get a Guy to Like You" Apparently, I should be spraying perfume in my hair, walking in a certain way, grazing his arm, showing some skin, and tilting my face forward when we talk.
- "Quiz: Are You Way Too Obsessed With Your Ex?" My results? Turns out Cosmo is still wise. I'm a "Better-Off-Without-Him Babe:" To you, an ex is like vending-machine candy: tempting when there's nothing better around but not worth the inevitable crash. "You're saving up for something more satisfying, which is why you turn to friends when you're lonely and don't pine much over momentos," says Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You. Still, you appreciate the relationship for what it was: a chance to figure out what you do and don't want in a partner.
Plus, the search bar suggested I look at: birth control, long haircuts, bb creams, or date ideas.
At first, I was amazed that this was what fascinated me in high school. Was I really that shallow?
Then, I just wondered, "When did I get so old?!"
Once I got over that (it took awhile), I wondered how I managed to become a successful adult woman despite spending my hard-earned minimum wage paycheck buying countless issues of Cosmo. How did it not destroy my views about relationships? How did it not change how I felt about my body? How did it not transform me into a total sexpot?!?
I found myself getting really judgmental about the messages the magazine sends to young women about what it means to be a woman.
At 34, I work hard to be an independent, smart, and successful person. I don't measure my worth on my appearance or relationships. I do not want to compromise who I am to have a boyfriend.
I'm so far above looking at articles about celebrity bulges or comparing the efficiencies of different forms of birth control. I'm too smart to read Cosmo.
Or am I?
It was fun to read Cosmo tonight - just like I enjoy watching the Kardashians, reading mindless romance novels, and gossiping about celebrities.
That doesn't make me less of an independent woman or lower my intellect. It makes me complex and interesting.
No apologies.
