33.5

It's my half-birthday, Friends. You know how I feel about half-birthdays. They deserve to be celebrated. I treated myself to a fancy coffee this morning and a little trip to Ulta this afternoon.

And, I spent some time on Memory Lane. I meant to find my favorite 16.5 photos taken since my 33rd birthday. I couldn't choose, though, and ended up with a few extras.

My life might not be exactly what I thought it would be, but it's full, it's happy, and it's mine. I built it for myself.

Some things I like about me. . . 

• I know how to say, "No." I still sometimes feel a little guilty, but I can definitely say it.
• I can imagine the possibilities. I fall short in the execution more often than I'd like, but I can definitely imagine.
• I'm learning to not apologize. I have different priorities than many of the people who are closest to me - not worse, not less important, not insignificant. I shouldn't feel inferior or apologize for that.
• I'm colorful (in my clothing, language, and culinary tastes).
• I am accomplished in my career. It's humbling to think about the brilliance of the people I've formed relationships with in the last 10 years.
• I make people laugh.
• I'm learning to stop biting my nails - still working on that one.
• I like spending time by myself. I can go out to dinner by myself. I can go to the movies by myself. I prefer to shop by myself. I love to travel solo.
• I'm a good friend. I don't make friends easily, but I'm fiercely protective of my people.

Ventage Tuesday: Hobbies gone bad.

Today, we (Angie, Em, Katrina, and Stephanie) share five photos that are each a "blast from the past." 

Mine happen to all be about hobbies gone bad.

1983? There was that time I took dance lessons. It's recorded (on a Beta tape!!). The family legend says that everyone else danced right and I went left. It's shaped how I feel about dancing in public even as an adult.

1990? Then, there was that time my grandma learned to weave baskets. Of course, I had to learn, too, because what 12 year old shouldn't have the exact same hobby as someone 50 years her senior!??!

Circa 1992ish. Seventh or eighth grade. I was too cool to have a hobby. Or wait. Look at that flannel shirt. Maybe I was failing miserably at being grunge - especially considering those earrings appear to be small, gold hearts.

1995? Family Christmas photo. Remember that time I learned to race sled dogs. What? I hate the cold and the wilderness. Yeah. Another not-so-great idea.

1997. Yes. That's me with another hobby intended for people 50 years older than me. Plus, being a harp player (or the musician of any instrument that goes between your spread knees) seriously limits one's fashion options.

Hello. . .

Hello. . . new haircut. I want to grow it out. Jalin said I needed to go a little shorter to go longer - something about making things a little more even. I trust her judgment. I just need to learn how to style it.

Hello. . . very serious chocolate cravings. I have wanted nothing but chocolate all day. I caught myself daydreaming (several times) about a chocolate bar with caramel pieces in it I ate at Max Brenner almost two months ago, which - BTW - cannot be purchased online.

Hello. . . wanting to see a movie this week. Contenders include: Zero Dark Thirty or Argo.

Hello. . . serious shocker on Downton Abbey. I'm still reeling.

Hello. . . to a reminder from Katrina to think about happiness.

Currents

Look! Digital Currents. They usually end up getting cut and pasted to be printed out for my Project Life. Figured I'd pretty it up this week.

Brushes: Studio Calico.
Journaling Card: Tina Aszmus

Hello,

Hello, winter television. Return of Downton Abbey. Return of Girls.

Hello, trashy romance. I've developed a bit of an addiction, actually, spurred by recommendations from friends. Love Unscripted and Love Left Behind have been on my bookshelf. It's getting out of hand.

Hello, decorating. I just painted a great leaning mirror (red) and picked up an ottoman. Next steps, painting a futon frame, getting a new cover (grey), and picking out some great pillows.

Hello, happy - my word for 2013. More about that another time.

Hello, plans. Very much looking forward to two January weekends filled with fun. Book of Mormon and a Badger hockey game.

Currents

I got a bunch of compliments about my outfit today. 

Apparently, it was colorful.

Time: 8:21 P.M. (Wishing I was already asleep)
Location: bed
Watching: nothing at the moment - just finished Newsroom (season 1)
Eating: cough drops
Drinking: all sorts of beer Rob insisted I try (he's visiting)
Feeling: anxious
Thinking:  that my skin looks about as great as it did when I was 13
Wanting: to feel happy and satisfied
Needing: a better morning routine
Making: a pile of things to mail tomorrow
Loving: new lipglosses from Fresh

Hello

Hello. . . snow. The white stuff has made me feel a little more in the holiday spirit. I'm considering starting the endless Christmas music.

Hello. . . eyeliner. Had a coupon for Sephora tonight. Picked up an Urban Decay eyeliner. Realized I bought the one I already have. Guess I really like Bourbon.

Hello. . . Christmas planning. Thinking the Moscow Mule will be our drink of choice this Christmas Eve. It requires some cute copper mugs. I think it's more of a warm weather drink, but the mugs sure are cute and will require some antique store shopping.

Hello. . . tickets. I have tickets to see Lion King with Stephanie in April and tickets to see Book of Mormon with Em and Josie in January. I enjoy being a patron of the arts.

Hello. . . Homeland. I'm seriously addicted.

Stole the idea for "Hello Monday" from Katrina who Stole it from Lisa Leonard.

Hello (a list for my 33rd year)

We Sagittariuses need to stick together.

Hello. . . 33. You actually arrived two days ago. I just didn't make time to greet you.

Hello. . . to what I am wishing for, thinking about, and working toward in my 33rd year.

Hello. . . to a home to call all my own - a place just for me.

Hello. . . to at least one fabulous and indulgent vacation.

Hello. . . working on myself. I'm not committing to exactly what that looks like quite yet (fitness? healthy eating? financial responsibility? mental health?). I'm just committing to be better.

Hello. . . getting smarter. I see some more school in my future. Barb, Ph.D. has a nice sound to it, no?

Hello. . . macaroons. I've been talking about making macaroons for a couple of years. My 33rd year will be the year I actually make macaroons.

Stole the idea for "Hello Monday" from Katrina who Stole it from Lisa Leonard.

Currents

There has been LOTS of Girl Scout cookie-eating going on at my office. Too much.

Time: 7:49 PM
Location: Bedroom. Door closed.
Watching: Elizabeth Gilbert talk on Oprah (recommended by Katrina)
Eating: avoiding all things turkey 
Drinking: Meil's (in mass quantities from a local coffee shop by my office)
Feeling: Overwhelmed, stressed, lack of confidence
Thinking: I need to shake off the crabbies and focus on what I'm looking forward to
Wanting: A warm-weather vacation instead of Christmas
Needing: To learn to be more disciplined about money
Making: Project Life. . . still. . . always
Loving: my gray Uggs

Currents stolen from Tina Aszmus.

Ventage Girls: Random Facts

Five Random Things About Me (in no particular order)

1. I like to mix Kraft mac and cheese with canned tuna. 

2. I've never broken a bone.

3. My first car was a 1978 Chrysler LeBaron. . . in 1996.

4. I started taking piano lessons when I was four.

5. I never had cable as a kid. I missed 90210. I missed MTV.

Learn more about:
Angie
Emily
Katrina
Stephanie

Hello

Hello Life Brushes and Stamps Ali Edwards for Designer Digitals

Hello. . . thinking, "I should put that on my Christmas list." That will have to be another post.

Hello. . . new television shows. I'm hooked on Homeland and am loving watching Weeds again. 

Hello. . . family dinner on Sunday. It's been a long time since I've lived in the same city as my parents or my sister.

Hello. . . lots happening at work this week. I'm excited to actually have some projects of my own.

Hello. . . Thanksgiving menu. It will be written by the end of the week.

Hello. . . reading. I've been trying hard to make reading every night before bed a habit again. I'm back into Art of Fielding and just started The Diviners.

Hello. . . plans with friends. Working on a little Book of Mormon weekend in January and looking forward to some Taylor Swift August 2013.

Hello. . . wisdom from the Internets shared by friends. Check out these ideas to remember during a personal apocalypse and advice about how to move on.

Stole the idea for "Hello Monday" from Katrina who Stole it from Lisa Leonard.

Currents

First red cup of the season. 9:04 A.M. Sunday. November 3.

Watching: Weeds, Season 5 (I have cable again!)
Listening: still loving some T-Swift. Tay. T-Swizzle.
Eating: at a different local restaurant each week 
Drinking: coffee made at home almost every morning 
Feeling: scattered. disorganized. chaotic.
Thinking: about a warm weather vacation
Preparing: a menu (and lots of schemes!) for Thanksgiving
Wanting: a new black bag
Making: Project Life - only 19 weeks behind
Enjoying: learning how to wear eye make-up
Loving: seeing the Capital every day
Savoring: a small victory over the garage door opener
Anticipating: Obama and Bruce Springsteen. Today!

Idea inspired by Tina Aszmus

Currents

Made with 6 x 6 photo collage template from Persnickety Prints

drinking: tea from David's including pumpkin chai

eating: am considering starting a plan in which i try to eat out at a different local restaurant every week for my entire first year in madison.

watching: thinking I should start watching Breaking Bad.

listening: taylor swift - red. especially "22," "Stay, Stay, Stay," and "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."

reading: still reading Gone Girl and The Art of Fielding. nothing against either of them. have just been in a slump. am thinking about starting The Perks of Being a Wallflower. haven't downloaded it because all available copies have the movie poster as a cover. i hate that.

feeling: really brave.

loving: my new bed. see photo above. it's the only part of my new space that is actually somewhat put together.

thinking: about a warm-weather vacation instead of celebrating Christmas.

making: at least two of the fall foods from last week's Ventage Girls post are on the menu for this week. that's right. i'm cooking again!!

wanting: my boxes to unpack themselves. see photos above.

needing:  new winter gear - like functional boots and a jacket. i have at least a 10 minute walk to work.

currents was totally Tina Aszmus's idea.

Perspective

I'm not feeling real steady or even or certain or confident these days.

In the moments where I'm feeling the greatest happiness. . .

• After a fabulous weekend with friends
• Noticing small details about the town where I live
• Sharing a meal with friends
• Accomplishing a whole lot all by myself
• Enjoying being able to see my bestie any time I want to

. . . the happiness is replaced with some pretty sudden sadness.

This part of my life is ending.

The sadness is followed by all sorts of anger and frustration.

I cannot believe he did this to me.

Happiness turns into anger and I begin to feel like a victim.

He did this to me.

I'm trying hard to remember to turn this around. 

I'm trying really hard to teach myself to instead think,

His choice made me a better person, a stronger person.

His choice helped me realize how blessed I am. I have amazing friends who will support me and step up to do anything I need. Really. Anything.

His choice helped me remember that I can (and should) rely on my family. They are good people who love me no matter what.

His choice helped me remember that I am hilarious and a whole lot of fun to be around.

His choice helped me believe in myself enough to take advantage of an opportunity I'd turned down several times.

His choice helped me find the strength and direction I lost somewhere along the way.

Yay. He did all of that to me, too.

Hello

Hello. . . skinny jeans. More specifically - hello, colored skinny jeans. I bought red skinny jeans last Sunday. I bought (bright) yellow skinny jeans last Thursday. These are in addition to the jean-colored and black skinny jeans I already had.

Hello. . . actually finishing a book. I finished Every Day by David Levithan for book club just today. Totally intriguing!! Levithan might be my new favorite author.

Hello. . . weekend get-away to NYC with Katrina and Kelly (combined with a work trip). Really looking forward to this!

Hello. . . to goodbyes. I'm struggling with this one. I'm excited about the move. I'm excited about the job. I'm just wishing there was a way to take all my favorite people and places with me. There is one particular goodbye I can't even think about without crying.

Hello. . . personal day on Friday for pampering and packing.

Hello. . . unexpected, hilarious, and supportive emails from friends. Singing little ones and wise words are just what this girl needs.

Stole the idea for "Hello Monday" from Katrina who Stole it from Lisa Leonard.

Hello,

Hello, yellow cake mix feast. A colleague invited us to all bring a recipe that included a yellow cake mix. It made for a delicious lunch. My contributtion = Kahlua bundt cake

Speaking of work. . . 

Hello, 8.5 days of school remaining.

Hello, 20% off sale and free shipping at Garnet Hill. This dress (in brown polka dot) and these baskets (sorry I stole your style, Em) will be arriving shortly.

Hello, upcoming visit with my brother that includes meeting Veronica, his most special friend, and drinking some beer.

Hello, ideas. I love brainstorming, scheming, and imagining. I love that my friends love it, too, and I especially love that one particular friend brings a project-management mindset to make the dreaming a reality.

Hello, little bit of color (read pink) in my skin and arms from an entire day of Saturday sunshine.

Hello, planning for Costa Rica. The flight is booked and half of the lodging decisions are made. I picked out a great bag and am working on a coordinating wardrobe. I need to get started on a mini book to work on during the trip.

Hello, brave girl. I am proud of myself for working on understanding what I need, want, and deserve. I'm feeling confident (excited even?) about the difficult work that still needs to happen. I'm welcoming next steps.

Inspired by Katrina's use of Lisa Leonard's practice

Currents

listening: Bluefish (audiobook)
eating: bean and cheese quesadillas for lunch every day this week
drinking: not enough water
wearing: soft, grey pajama pants and a hoodie
feeling: anxious
weather: sunny and warm
wanting: answers and a routine
needing: a new read. 
thinking: about tonight's Grey's Anatomy season finale
enjoying: being around luke, dottie, and charlie every day
wondering: what my life will be like in a year

(partially) Flowering

I picked up some daffodils during a last minute stop at the grocery store. (I haven't made a meal plan or a real shopping trip in at least two weeks. I'm living on take-out, restaurant meals, and things that can be carried in my arms at the store.)

I had to choose between the bunches that were completely flowering, the bunches that had some flowers, and the bunches that were all blooms.

I had a little moment of clarity and self-reflection in the middle of the grocery store floral department and decided to go with the partially flowering bunch.

That's how I'm feeling lately - partially flowering.

I'm not quite getting done everything I should. I'm not quite as productive as I should be. I haven't been paying quite enough attention to the people and things that really matter. I've been distracted and disorganized.

There's room for improvement.

Currents

time: 6:56 A.M. (have been awake for more than an hour)
location: couch
watching: fell asleep watching Hugo last night
eating: nothing yet
drinking: nothing yet - thinking about french press coffee
wanting: to still be asleep
needing: to color my hair
loving: weekends w/o plans or obligations
creating: project life, week 9 - after this
thinking: about what to make for dinner tomorrow
wondering: when I became an insomniac

Right now. . .

Smiling about. . . 
Luke's third birthday party. It was almost a week ago, but I still can't get out of my head how very excited he was about all of it.

Listening to. . . 
Blood, Bones, and Butter (the audiobook)
Mumford & Sons
Bon Iver

Disappointed by. . .
Something Borrowed. I dragged Brad to the "budget" theater (tickets were still $4 each!) on Monday because I really wanted to see this. It wasn't that funny; it wasn't that cute. Kate Hudson's character made me nuts. And, the ending was ridiculous.

Looking forward to. . . 
CA on Wednesday! I'm excited to be in the same city as Katrina; it's been far too long! I'm excited to see San Francisco. I'm excited to learn more about wine. I'm excited to meet new people.

Savoring. . .
Jane Eyre. I'm preparing for the upcoming Jane Eyre-themed tea party (to be scheduled sometime in August). I am reading the book (a beautiful, cloth-bound edition) and went to see the movie on Wednesday.

Needing to. . . 
clean my bedroom and do some laundry.


Wondering about. . . 
fashion. Why is it so difficult to find clothes that are plain? I'm thinking things that are just solid colored without a weird pattern or cut or texture. I'm thinking timeless and classic. Said clothes also need to be reasonably priced and fit short, fat girl - which means J.Crew is out of the question.


P.S. I will work hard on being a better, more-regular blogger.