Laughing.

Do you know this website?
It is so funny it will make you snort.
or pee your pants.
or spit Coke at your computer.
or whatever it is you do when you laugh really hard.

Here are a few of my recent favorites. . .

Tip for Success:
Insulting your friends constantly will make them appreciate it even more when they receive a compliment. 

Realized:
Once your pants catch fire, the fact that you're lying becomes much less important.

Definition:
Tomorrow (noun) - The best time to do everything you had planned for today. 

Signs that Things Aren't Going So Well:
Your mom tells you you're special, but you have no idea who this Ed kid is...

Noticing.

I pinned this twice, so I figured I better buy it to hang in my bathroom. I'm working on some re-decorating.

I don't always take the time to notice the things that make me happy; it seems so much easier to get fixated on the things that make me unhappy.

I am going to work on that.

Wishes

I wish there was an episode of Grey's tonight so I could have a date with Katrina. Come to think of it, I also wish there was an episode of Grey's tonight so that the season wouldn't have to end with the completely boring episode that was the season finale.

I wish that I had bought a container of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. My decision to purchase four containers for $10 earlier this week inspired Angie to do the same. One of her choices was Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. She shared it with me last night. It was inspired.

I wish that I would win the lottery, and I don't mean just winning a dollar or $10 on a scratch off. I mean winning big bucks - at least $10 million.

I wish I looked good in yellow.

I wish I could take an entire year off of my life to just read books. I would even be willing to write about that. I would excel at this.

I wish there were warp zones in real life like there are in Mario Brothers.

I wish that new episodes of Gilmore Girls were still being made. I'd love to see what happened with Rory's work with Obama and Luke and Lorelai. I also secretly hope that Rory decided to get back together with Logan.

I wish someone would invent a fabric that looks and feels like linen but doesn't instantly wrinkle.

I wish there was a Trader Joe's and Whole Foods where I live.

I wish I had the perfect picture to add to this post.

Meal Plan

I haven't grocery shopped (or meal planned) since before we went to Seattle. That was almost a month ago. That means we've eaten out a lot and made many, many frantic runs through the grocery store. I hate being last minute about food. It actually feels good to have made a plan for this week. Although, it is 2:52 PM, and I still haven't made it to the grocery store. . .

Chinese take out - Hunan Chicken and Pot Stickers - on one of the many nights Brad wasn't home for dinner.

ETA:
Things don't always go as planned. I didn't make it to the grocery store Sunday night. We went out instead. I ran through the store Monday night without my list. I finally made it to the store tonight - Tuesday.


Sunday:
Mediterranean Chopped Salad
Marinated Salmon
Garlic Lemon Potatoes with Sun-dried Tomatoes & Scallions
Out for Mexican (shared chicken, shrimp, and beef fajitas for two)

Monday:
Marinated Chicken
Bread (warmed on the grill)
Asian Spinach Salad
Frozen cheese tortellini
Spaghetti sauce (from a jar) with ground beef
Asparagus

Tuesday:
Spring Vegetable Pasta
Grilled Steak

Wednesday:
@ Angie's

Thursday:
Grilled Chicken with Lemon-Basil Penne
Asparagus
Marinated Chicken
Bread (warmed on the grill)
Asian Spinach Salad

Friday:
Beef with Snow Peas
Brown Rice
Mediterranean Chopped Salad
Marinated Salmon
Garlic Lemon Potatoes with Sun-dried Tomatoes & Scallions

Career Change?

One thing that education programs (aka teacher school) did not prepare me for is the end of the school year.

We learned lots about how to establish routines, build relationships, and prepare a classroom during the FIRST weeks of school. And, of course, you hear about the glorious weeks off during the summer (something I've yet to really fully experience as my summers tend to - by my choice - be filled with professional development and other teaching "stuff").

You don't hear about the last few weeks of school, though. The last few weeks of school are the deep, dark secret of the teaching world. They are a time when kids and adults are thinking, primarily, about summer. They are a time when shorts are short, middle school kids need to reminded about personal hygiene, and shirts for boys and girls alike suddenly become sleeveless. They are a time when teachers are especially on edge about everything that still needs to be taught, classrooms that need to be cleaned, and assessments that need to be completed.

So, today (after determining that there are only 17 days of school left) I tried to beat the stress by imagining alternate careers. It turns out that I have a whole lot of education and am qualified to do basically nothing besides work in education.

But, look at me! Don't I look responsible and smart and ready to hire!??!!??

Anyway, after careful thinking and some consultation with colleagues I was able to come up with a few career alternatives - places I could really find success if this whole teaching thing doesn't work out for me after all.

Option 1. Professional Critic.
You name it - I criticize it. I would, for a nominal fee, be willing to offer my opinions on all sorts of things. Simply contact me with the person, place, idea, or thing that you would like criticized. Please note, I am not willing to offer opinions on diet plans, exercise equipment, or fitness-related things.

Option 2. Not-your-ordinary Life Coach
I will gladly provide you with one-on-one coaching sessions. You tell me about your triumphs and struggles, and I will ask you questions designed to help you develop the skills you need to independently live a happy life. You may be thinking that this option is in direct opposition to option one. Who wants a life coach that is also a professional critic?!!?? My life coaching services would be sort of like Ed Debevic's - it would be a tell-it-as-it-is approach to life coaching. Don't come to me for coddling, feel-good coaching. Come to me when you want honest perspective. People seem to love the lady on Biggest Loser who is always screaming at people. My approach to life coaching would be a lot like that (minus the dieting and working out).

Option 3. Reality TV Star
My show would be called I'm a Millionaire. The network lucky enough to get my show will give me one million dollars. They would also give a friend of my choosing one million dollars. We would each, independent of each other, create a budget to spend all of the money over the course of an entire television season. Viewers may even have the opportunity to occasionally vote when each of the "contestants" are faced with difficult decisions. People across the nation and world would be captivated by our choices and the speed at which we are able to spend the money. I could even teach the nation some valuable lessons about the dangers of not budgeting your money well. ;)

So, friends. If you could choose / design / invent a new career for yourself what would it be?
Shoot for the stars!

(half) Birthday List

I thought you might be looking for a little something to pick up for my half-birthday (June 3).
If so, here are a few ideas.

A girl needs some socks to go in her rain boots.

Season 6 is the only one missing from my Grey's Anatomy collection.

I do love this necklace. I would wear it all the time.

 I have been loving this print (to hang in my kitchen) for awhile.

 I have a new love for Le Creuset and think a brasier would be a nice addition to my small collection.

These cake stands are so pretty and fun.

 And, would you believe that I still haven't bought a camera remote? 

I would love to try these lollipops.

I have been wanting to read this book for awhile. The American cover is hideous. The newly-released UK cover makes me really want to read the book.

And, in case one of you wins the lottery before my half birthday - I would really like an iPad. (And, look! There is a limit of two per order. One for you and one for me!)

 

I will need to write some thank you notes for these wonderful gifts, of course.

Pretty paper.

I'm spending (the rest of) today cleaning out my scrapbooking space. There's a rummage coming up. I need my space to be less cluttered, and I could use a little extra cash to support my habit. In honor of the purging I thought I would share a few things I made way back in March.

He’s My Little Man

Lifted from somewhere. No idea who made the original layout.

Studio Calico Kit and add-ons: (February 2011) Candy Shoppe

Pen: American Crafts

Patterned paper: Crate Paper for Studio Calico,  Cosmo Cricket, My Minds Eye, Echo Park

Embellishments: Crate Paper for Studio Calico (label and word stickers), Sassfras (flower), My Minds Eye (ribbon), Tim Holtz (staples), Maya Road (pin)

Alphabet: Sassafras, American Crafts

Ink: Staz On

Our Kind Of Merry

Loosely based on Tina’s layout

From a Studio Calico challenge

Studio Calico Kit and Add-ons: Metroplitan (December 2010)

Patterned Paper: Sassafras for Studio Calico, Basic Grey, Making Memories, Studio Calico,  7Gypsies

Embellishments: 7Gypsies (sticker), Pebbles (brad), Maya Road (chipboard title), My Minds Eye (ticket), American Crafts (tape)

Alphabets: Sassafras, Jenni Bowlin

Stamp: Studio Calico

Ink: Jenni Bowlin, Staz On

Other: Punch: Creative Memories (circles), Vintage (typewriter)

Cardstock: American Crafts

 

A Good Day

Studio Calico Kit and add-ons: Metropolitan (December 2010)

Pen: American Crafts

Cardstock: Bazzill Paper Basics

Embellishments: KI Memories (sticker title), Maya Road (stick pin and ribbon), American Crafts (flowers, tape)

Patterned Paper: Studio Calico, Crate Paper, Making Memories, My Minds Eye

Other: Tim Holtz (stapler)

Recovering.

10 years ago "recovering" from a weekend meant drinking lots of water, swallowing loads of aspirin, and airing the smoke smell out of whatever outfits may have been worn to the bar.

Now, "recovering" from a weekend means laughing about funny moments, wishing for a chance to take a long nap, and being so thankful for friends and family.

This weekend I. . .

. . . scrapbooked with Stephanie. I worked on my Project Life. That's another story.

. . . got my haircut.

. . . took Katelyn to dinner for her fourth birthday. She had sausage pizza and vanilla ice cream with sprinkles. The kid talked all night. Seriously. She hardly came up for a breath. Without Natalie to compete with Katelyn found her voice.

. . . hosted a smashing (and impromptu) mother's day brunch including: a Bloody Mary bar (featuring drinks in Mason jars), mimosas, sippy cups of milk, three kinds of pancakes (labeled with cute little flags), fruit, sausage, brown-sugar bacon, and cinnamon rolls.

 

. . . completely melted when my favorite little man brought me some Mother's Day flowers (see roses on Bloody Mary bar).

. . . looked at patio furniture at Walmart. Have you ever seen the little models of patio umbrellas that are with the furniture sets? I completely didn't realize they were models and thought they were, in fact, small umbrellas that could be used to shade perishable food, like dip.

. . . got a pedicure with my mom and my newest mom-friend. The salon owners forced me to pay for my mom's manicure and pedicure. It was an awkward conversation in which, "You pay for Mom?" become "You pay for Mom." The punctuation makes all the difference.

. . . took a late-afternoon nap.

. . . didn't take nearly enough pictures.

Scrapbook on the Road: Seattle

I am really good at collecting little bits and pieces of "stuff" while I'm on vacation. I sometimes put these together into albums or individual lay-outs to remember the pieces of my vacation.

I decided, though, that I wanted to avoid the post-vacation pile of "stuff" this time by making a little scrapbook while I was actually traveling.

I started by checking out Ali Edwards's Scrapbook on the Road Class.

Honestly? My album is pretty much Ali's album.

I also picked up an add-on from Cocoa Daisy. Many of my supplies came from there. I did add lots of ledger papers from my stash and a few Washington-related items I scrounged Etsy for. I also chose a travel album and a few embellishments from Evalicious. I found these really difficult to incorporate into my album.

I had lots of supplies left over from the Cocoa Daisy kit and didn't end up using hardly any of the supplies from Evalicious. As usual, I over-bought.

I decided to divide the album into sections - there was an introduction, a section for each day, and a conclusion. We were there for six days, so I created a section with all of the same components (although in different sizes and shapes) for each section. I used a Hambly Clearly Heavy transparency with quotes about travel (an idea stolen from AE's album) to "divide" the space between sections.

Anyway. . . here is the empty album I took to Seattle with me. I just put it in a big Ziploc bag and threw it in my carry-on luggage.

I put together a little bag of supplies to use while traveling. I hauled along: Crop-o-dile, Staz-On in black, paper clips, a mini-stapler and extra staples, adhesive and a refill, Washi tape, a glue stick, some shipping tags, a scissors, a date stamp, and a few embellishments. I just kept it all in a plastic bag stuffed in my checked luggage.

I traveled with my camera. I did bring a few different lenses and a flash, but I kept my 35mm 2.0 on my camera almost all of the time.  I also brought a Polaroid camera and a few rolls of back-up film. I wasn't real thrilled with the Polaroid, honestly. I want to love it; I really do. But, I have a hard time getting a clear photograph if the light isn't absolutely perfect. More about that another time.

So, now you're wondering what my album looks like filled with Polaroids and ephemera and journaling, right?

Well, you'll be holding your breath for awhile.

My album came home empty and accompanied by a giant pile of "stuff" - the exact "stuff" I hoped to avoid bringing home with me.

What happened? I think it really came down to packing my days of vacation WAY TOO full. By the time I got back to the hotel at night it was late; my belly was full, and I was exhausted. I just didn't leave time in my day to reflect and think and savor. I really wish I would have. I think this would have made me come home far more relaxed and helped me enjoy my travel time more, too.

My plan now is to develop some of my favorite pictures, organize the "stuff", and attach it all within the album. I'm not sure that I will actually scrapbook any pages of the trip. I'm thinking I can capture my thoughts and favorite memories in the little album (although it's not really that little - it uses 2 1/2" rings!).

I want to do this soon, but I will be glad to have this week of blog posts to rely on if I don't get to it right away.

Meanwhile, I am already scheming about what I want my Napa travel album to look like for July. Then, I will be more committed to actually filling my album.

I will keep you posted about how this little project ends up turning out.