Confessions of the Unfit

I've been thinking about this story all week and have decided that since the parties involved don't read my blog I can share it.

On Monday I went to a park with some friends for what I thought would be a leisurely stroll through the woods and a nice picnic. The picnic part was very nice.

There was nothing leisurely about the stroll.

It was actually more of a jog. Well. It was a BRISK! walk. But, for the terminally out-of-shape, it felt like a jog.

I tried to keep up at first, but it didn't take me long to discover that my body would have been found on the trail if I continued to keep up.

I thought if I just fell far enough behind, the other two girls (one of whom bikes 80 miles just for fun!) would slow down. Not the case.

At one point, the biker actually said, "I just like to RUN up the hills. It goes so much faster." And she took off running. Straight up hill. CRAZY!

At one point, the other girl's dog just laid down. Completely exhausted. Kind of like me!

There were spider webs and bugs and mud and sweat. More sweat than any human should produce.

The hell that was the leisurely stroll lasted for more than an hour.

Experiences like this just remind me that I will never be fit. Why? Because I don't really enjoy the activities that result in being fit.

I will especially never be a jogger. What are those joggers always smiling about when they're running? The only time I have that kind of smile is when I'm flipping between re-runs of Friends and Sex and the City.

Now, don't be offended, Fit Friends. We can still hang out. Just don't ask me to do things that require being fit. Let's go to dinner or watch a movie or scrapbook or gossip or something else that burns very little calories.