The smallest size I have ever been (since I can remember caring about size) was a 10. Sigh. My current size is most certainly not a 10. I wish I could say it falls on the "less than" side of 10, but that would be a big fat lie (if you're questioning me, please see the previosly posted unflattering picture of me on a hammock).
In case my last post dedicated to the cupcake was not evidence enough, here, ladies and gentlemen, are the reasons why I will never be a 10 again:
- The Take 5 McFlurry (YUM-O). Warning: Consuming this tasty treat will not take five pounds away from your total weight!
- Television . . . need I say more?
- the Internet (Thanks a lot, Al Gore!)
- My dog doesn't like to go for walks (he's a bit on the heavy side, too)
- My couch is possessed. I sit down. It sucks me in and refuses to let me get up until I take a nap.
- Brad only eats one meal and day. Consequently, the portion he eats is ENORMOUS. He thinks I need to eat just as much.
- I'd rather build my brain by reading than build my biceps by lifting weights. Plus, I'm not coordinated enough to do both at the same time.
- I don't really like salad all that much.
- I love sugary kids cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is where it's at!
- I don't like diet soda and am convinced that I get headaches from Nutrasweet.
- My hobbies are not cardio-vascular (unless standing while scrapping counts as cardio)
- Water is boring. I can't ever drink 10 or 12 or how ever many glasses a day I'm supposed to.
- I actually made cupcakes after posting about them. Thought about them and had to have them. Even though it was 8pm and really hot outside. I went to the store, turned on the oven, and made cupcakes. I bet I'm not the only one! Confess, dear readers. Who else ate a cupcake after my last post?!?!
Honestly, though, I do still secretly wish that someday I might be a size 6 and be able to eat whatever I want to whenever I want to. The person who can invent such a situation deserves some kind of huge award.
12 comments:
Oh my gosh you are totally cracking me up with that list!!! I whole-heartedly (sp???) agree that clothes are too damn small nowadays!! And I am pretty sure almost everything on that list pertains to me as well. And thank you for reminding me that Al Gore had invented the internet...I had nearly forgotten that one!!!
you're so funny! i thought you meant 10 years old. i was like- well duh, you can't go back in time....... i'm a dork.
mmmm, those cupcakes looked so good. i'm totally craving them. mmmmmmm. didn't go and make them, but now i've decided to fufill my ice cream craving and go get a mcflurry ; )
ok, and please fill me in- i'm an idiot- how did al gore invent the internet?
Oh...I'm back to say that there IS something where you can eat whatever you want and be a size six! It's called hyperthyroidism...and I'll be darned if it didn't have too many negative side effects and I had to fix it!!!! :)
I'll let you explain Al Gore to Kat!!!
barb, barb, barb... your list was hilarious, and besides from the take-5 mcflurry i would have to agree with all of them (and i didn't make cupcakes, but more for the fact that my kitchen is super dinky and there's no room to leave cupcakes to cool without vienna licking them all - stupid efficiency apartments) being a size 6 is so uncool right now. don't you know that curvy is in, and beautiful? i say you only live once, so why not live it to the fullest your belly can handle :) eating rabbit food and nutrasweet would be such an unfulfilling life. and diets are dumb. why cut out things that make you happy - think of how you feel when brad surprised you with some ice cream, but you can't eat it cuz you're dieting. or how about dinner out with friends - who wants to be the one ordering a side salad with fat free dressing on the side, hold the croutons, and bring on the water. blech. people would stop inviting you along cuz you'd make them feel bad about themselves cuz they weren't eating as healthy as you. see, eating not healthy is looking out for your friend's self-esteem. i may have rambled, but i might have found the perfect justification!! and think - ang would be so offended if you turned down any of her delicious cooking due to a diet. see, enough said! BRING ON THE CUPCAKES AND TAKE 5 BLIZZARDS!!!
I'm all about the vanity sizing.
I read this article not too long ago how sizes are inreasingly getting smaller so that people will feel better when they ask for smaller sizes.
Scott
Ok. So this absolutely wins your "Best Post of the Year" award. Too freaking hilarious. My thoughts:
1) Diet Coke rocks. The sooner you get that, the better your life will be. I mean, besides its addictive qualities, giving the shakes and potential cancer it RULES.
2. You and I differ on the ice cream thing. I just don't get it. I am glad you have found something that makes you so totally happy but to me it is a mystery.
3. As the girl who has started weight watchers with her husband... as long as you feel good don't stress about it. I don't feel like we have had to stop our lifestyle!
4. That Al Gore, man I am so impressed with all of his accomplishments (and to me, that joke will always be hilarious - and you are my best friend because you too (despite being a lib) love that joke.)
5. Too bad we cannot find a way to make our hobbies "exercise" - I mean, scrapping and shopping burn several million calories...too bad that eating and drinking are also required to motivate us.
6. BE HAPPY and don't stress. I love you just the way you are... and dammit Tina is right. CURVY IS IN...(I have been going with that for years!)
Yeah, I'm with you on that list.
1. I have to watch at least 3 hours of T.V. a day or else I go insane.
2. The internet is the devil, I can be on it all night and not have accomplished a dang thing.
3. I can't drink 8-12 glasses of water a day, but I can drink that much soda a day.
This by far was the funniest post I've read and I'm so glad there are others out there like me who feel the same way.
oh gosh, i agree with you so much!!
i do think the clothes are smaller now. at least the styles are smallish. and i have had a similar experience w/a couch that HAD to be possessed, because it had crazy sucking-in powers!!
You are toooooo funny!!! I have been saying that I'll get back into shape when I'm done having kids. I think I keep on having them just so I don't have to get back in shape!
I'm with you on many of those reasons posted! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone :)
laughing
hard
and that HAS to count for cardio!!
i'm dieting
doing well
but lord knows that me saying "hey i lost 4lbs" means nothing when i need to lose a total of 50. i feel ya on the clothes. i just want to be a large again. lmao
You are right - Some people cannot consume Nutrasweet...My hubby got headaches from too much of it, in Fruit-2-0 flavored water drinks. He researched and some people can get severe headaches, dizziness, and other reactions to it....
I really enjoyed this post - smiling and laughing as I read it :-) I agree--clothes now are sized totally different, so much smaller than they used to be. I've seen XL shirts in some stores that look like they are made to fit pre-teen flat-chested girls! I mean what the hell?! (Does XL mean Xtra Little?)
Who cares what the world thinks you should look like or what size you should be...it's what you feel happy, content and healthy with...
Enjoying your blog as a new reader :-)
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