Let me just preface this by saying that getting yelled at and endlessly questioned by not just a parent, but parentS at the end of the day on Friday does not do a lot to make me feel good about my job, but I've been thinking about all of this lately anyway. . .
I often wonder whether or not I really should be a teacher. I'm very good at what I do (and so modest, too); I wouldn't do it if I wasn't. But, I really wonder whether or not it's what I should be doing. Would I be happier or more satisfied doing something else?
It's not always the most intellectually challenging job in the universe. I enjoy the kids most of the time, but get very tired of dealing with the bureaucratic, PR, and paperwork aspects of the job. Some days I get bored; I say the same things five times a day. I hate being required to take work home every single day. I know I supposedly have summers off, but I've never actually had more than about a week off during any given summer. I just feel like I put so much more into it than I get out of it. I enjoy my colleagues, but I think that would be the case with any job.
I know every job has its ups and downs, but how do I tell whether or not I've really chosen the best job for me? It's so hard because so many people who are teachers really think that teaching is their calling. They love what they do. They're proud of it. They couldn't see themselves doing something else. I don't feel that strongly about it. I never have. I haven't dreamed of being a teacher since I was a kid. I don't have buttons or clothes or bags that declare my love for the profession. I always feel like I need to defend myself rather than feel proud when I say, "I'm a teacher."
So. . . how do I tell if I've really chosen the right career for me?
4 comments:
I think a lot of teachers feel this way...especially when the fruits of our labor (okay...not as much mine, being the lowely music teacher...but surely yours!) go unnoticed unless something BAD happens. I know that you are a very dedicated teacher, whether you think so or not! Have you ever thought about being a reading specialist or something along those lines?? I had a friend that switched to that last year. She loved her job...she hated the principal. So...now she's a stay at home mom!! Just an idea!! Hope you weekend is better than your Friday!
decided to check your blog as you said you needed happiness today! sounds like a rough friday - barb, follow your heart - do what feels right - explore things that give you butterflies when you think about them! make your career worth your time! i stuggled strongle today accepting a postion that i don't really want - i am not following my heart but unfortunately - mortgage payments prevail and i must do what is right for my fam. if you are not in a crunch time - no is the time to discover Barb! do what it takes to make you happy! hugs AMY mc
Sorry that you had such a rough day today. As a fellow teacher, I know the strain that you're under, especially on a Friday with 9 weeks to go. It's stressful, sometimes too stressful. So as someone who has seen you through college and heard the "war stories" the last few years, the only advice I can give you is to follow your heart, wherever that takes you. AND I KNOW that you're an AWESOME teacher and you're GREAT at what you do!
Talk soon, Miranda
I think a lot of teachers feel that way. Really a lot of politics in school could ruin the experience. To make you feel unworthy. You are such an amazing person your students are so lucky to have you as a teacher.
I grow up in another country (until 10), then went to South Africa for two years. The time I was in South Africa we were in an all girls Catholic school (eeek). We had this were every morning we have an uniform check. We suppose to lift up our skirts and have the teachers (some are male) to see if our underwear were all green. If not we were to strip our shoes and socks and go run on the field for a hour. The field was not meant to be run on. It's not groomed, full of weeds, pebbles, etc. By the end of the hours the girls will come back with hundreds of little cuts. If they chose not to run they were to be brought in front of the whole entire school. Lift up their skirt and getting beaten over a chair. It's such a degrading experience and I've come to appreciate the school system here in America. Of course that whole thing in South Africa was 17 years ago. I hope it's not like that anymore. For the sake of the kids.
Teachers don't get enough appreciation. Often being laugh at too, some people think they weren't good enough to do anything else. I think whoever becomes a teacher have the biggest heart in the world. To love and nerture (sp?) kids that's not yours. To teach them and put up with all the problems they give you. To put up with parents that tend to blame the teacher instead of question if they were at fault in raising their kids.
I talk about the similar thing in Em (Emily)'s blog. You guys deserves nothing but 100% respect. For taking on the job and loving those kids.
We all have doubts in what we do. I think if you are serious about doing something else you should consider it. Afterall you need to take care of yourself before you could do that for others.
Hugs. Lots of love to you!
Michelle
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